SHOCKING NORTH FITZROY CENSUS RESULTS

Over winter, The Rotunda collected data on the kingdom of North Fitzroy’s citizens and allies. What is the most popular cafe? Can they separate the art from the artist? What’s their choice of funeral song? We’ve got the answers

Words by Charlie Gill

Illustrations by Suzanne Tétaz

This feature was originally published in The Rotunda's September 2025 edition. The pdf is accessible via our home page.

A quick word to the Sky News panellists who deride North Fitzroy as a haven for latte sipping, Greens voting, pro-vandalism poodle owners: statistically, you are completely correct. 41% of North Fitzroy’s coffee drinkers opt for a latte (by far the most popular choice), just 16% of people consider graffiti vandalism, 58% voted for the Greens and 18% of dog lovers own some variation of a poodle-cross.

This data was collected by a census The Rotunda conducted over winter. We amassed a sample size of over 250 residents, visitors and enjoyers of North Fitzroy: a diverse pool featuring baristas, teachers, architects, adult content creators and many others. The median age of respondents was 28—around eight years younger than North Fitzroy’s actual median age—and as such, this survey captures both the character of North Fitzroy now and into its future.

The most popular cafe in North Fitzroy is a two-way tie between up-and-coming Standing Room and the ever dependable Tin Pot. The most favoured pub across all ages is the Railway followed by the Tramway, and then the Royal Oak, where the crowd skews millennial. Royal Oak lovers are also much more likely to refer to the suburb as ‘Fitzroy North’ rather than ‘North Fitzroy’. Bizarrely, the North Fitzroy Arms is the same.

Here’s the thing: Vietnam’s most populous city is technically called Ho Chi Minh, but locals refer to it as Saigon, and North Fitzroy has a similarly fraught identity. (In this case, the blame lies with intervention from Australia Post rather than the United States military.) 63% of respondents call it Fitzroy North and 37% say North Fitzroy, but if you account for the data’s youth-bias The Rotunda posits the split is closer to 50/50. Indeed, only 15% of people who’ve lived here for less than five years call it North Fitzroy, but almost 70% of people who’ve lived here for over ten years do.

If some disgruntled pro-North Fitzroyer ever unleashes a terrorist attack upon the village, Yarra City Council needs to put Nick Cave on an all-expenses paid flight to Melbourne: when respondents were asked to name their funeral song, ‘Into My Arms’ was mentioned seven times. Meanwhile, 24% of respondents said they’d probably expect their neighbours to attend their funeral—and 14% said their neighbours are like extended family—but 35% said they wouldn’t even feel comfortable asking to borrow anything.

Respondents almost unanimously said euthanasia should be legal, and when asked if they would harvest a healthy person’s organs in order to save five dying people, 77% of all respondents said they wouldn’t while 23% would. Challenged on what should be done with the Captain Cook memorial torn down in Edinburgh Gardens, most people suggested some form of destruction, like melting it down to make septum piercings (which might’ve actually looked good on Cook himself).

Other questions proved more divisive. Should you be allowed to talk in the sauna? 49% were diplomatic, saying only if you see someone you know and go through formalities. But while 25% said of course you can talk, it’s a public space, 26% said absolutely not, it’s a place for peace and quiet. People were also twice as likely to be anti e-scooter if they were anti sauna chat. Overall, 61% of respondents wanted to keep e-scooters and 39% wanted them gone.

Women were twice as likely to want e-scooters banned and say they can’t separate the art from the artist (multiple respondents mentioned Kanye West, whose personal stance on e-scooters is unknown). Another gendered issue included cocktail choice, the most popular options by far being martinis and negronis, with women strongly favouring the former and men the latter. None of the nine non-binary respondents opted for either.

When asked if they liked the countdown clock currently in Edinburgh Gardens, one in five people wistfully mentioned the Golden Worm that once sat in its place. (Sagittariuses—known for being optimistic—were disproportionately unfavourable towards the pessimistic clock, and the science of astrology was given further credence by rebellious Aquariuses being particularly pro-graffiti.) One person suggested a monument to our dog columnist, Ludo , and two suggested a tribute to Helen Garner, whose work was most often mentioned (five times) when people were asked what they were currently reading.

The census asked respondents about their favourite part of Edinburgh Gardens, and one young insurance broker wrote “omg omg omg drinking”, but the most popular actual location, closely followed by the skatepark, was Hipster Hill—particularly the lone bench atop it. It’s The Rotunda’s favourite spot, too. From here, you can watch quietly as members of the community make their way around Brunswick Street Oval, then zero in on each person and wonder if they belong to the 7% whose favourite cocktail is a margarita, the 14% of people who say they’re working their dream job or the 34% who have never been to Danny’s Burgers.