YOUR LOCAL HOROSCOPE

The Rotunda's resident astrologist tells you how to feel this winter

Words by Anastasia Bloom

Illustrations by Marnie Florence

This feature was originally published in The Rotunda's July 2024 edition. The pdf can be accessed via our home page.

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Aries

March 21st to April 19

Yes, you’re a perpetual winner, but your determination and confidence won’t guarantee you’ll secure a coveted Loafer cinnamon bun when you’re twelfth in line. A large part of winter belongs to Cancer season, a time to practice compassion, so don’t freak out at the lovely staff when the last one gets taken just as you get to the counter. You don’t want to be citizen’s arrested over a pastry: this winter, remember to breathe. If your competitive streak requires satisfaction, call up some friends for a quick game of Finska in Edinburgh Gardens. You know you’ll win, of course.

Taurus

April 20 to May 20

For famously materialistic Tauruses, North Fitzroy isn’t quite Toorak enough. Accept it. If you’re really desperate for some high-end garments, you can catch the tram down to Gertrude Street and carry on past the Yarra while you’re at it. But instead of splashing out on an eyecatching piece, how about investing in a sense of internal peace? You love to relax, so book a massage at Sense of Self if you’ve got the cash. Otherwise, don’t disregard the calming capabilities of a walk through nature—no matter the weather. Taurus is an earth sign, of course, so why don’t you get your fancy shoes a little muddy on a stroll along the Merri Creek?

Gemini

May 21 to June 20

It’s winter, you’re a Gemini and—don’t even bother trying to deny it—you’re spending your weekends in cosy booths at trendy bars, gossiping about other people’s love lives. You’re settling into a night at Monty’s with their famous Spaghett, spilling the drink from your glass and salacious details from your lips. Stop. Pause the reality TV show playing in your head. It’s time to put your flirtatious skill to work and finally find your soulmate, even if it’s through Hinge (Gemini’s symbol is the twins, after all). If you’re betrothed, trade nights out drinking for movie nights at home with no company but each other’s. Order in from Singh’s on Nicholson Street. Winter is about spending time with those you love.

Cancer

June 21 to July 22

The advice applying to other signs works in inverse for you. Homebodies at heart, Cancers tend to spend the colder months relishing each moment of guilt-free hibernation. (By the way, if anyone tells you astrology isn’t real, Daniel Andrews is a Cancer. Why do you think he kept mandating coziness?) Listen, lazy, wake up and smell the gum trees—the cool air will invigorate you, and there’s nothing saying you can’t transpose domestic bliss from the couch to the nearest local park. Hunker down in the Brunswick Street Oval grandstand and watch the Fitzroy men’s and women’s footy teams kick a raindrenched Sherrin through the big sticks. Expand your sense of family to include the community.

Leo

July 23 to August 22

No doubt you’re missing those scorching summer days spent frolicking at Fitzroy Pool. Not only is Leo ruled by the sun, but its symbol is the lion, and there’s nothing you loved more than strutting the concrete catwalk: skin tattooed, tanned and taut, kings of the urban jungle. And listen, whether you meet those physical parameters or not, all Leos possess an attractive warmth and performative streak. So if you feel like winter isn’t giving your natural vivacity enough air-time, give it some hot-air time: stay at the pool, but opt for the sauna. You’ve been thinking about starting a podcast, anyway. Say whatever you want—it’s a captive audience. (Just make sure there aren’t any Geminis listening.)

Virgo

August 23 to September 22

It’s a complicated, messy world and your perfectionist nature can’t handle that. But that’s just you. Spend some time at North Fitzroy Post Office on a busy Monday morning and simply observe. Yes, its chaotic systems might’ve irked you in the past. Maybe it struck you as a realist take on a nigh-impossible escape room, or the domestic terminal at Purgatory Airport. But there was always a method to the madness, and you might find that, actually, they run things pretty smoothly. If their processes still aren’t up to your extremely high standards, just accept it—the experience will liberate you. And if it all gets too much, go across the road to the Tin Pot, order a hot chocolate, pick up the latest Rotunda and do the crossword. Sorry we don’t have a sudoku.

Libra

September 23 to October 22

Attend a Yarra council meeting at Richmond Town Hall. Libra’s symbol is the scales of justice, and as a people-pleasing diplomat it might be traumatic to watch angry residents confront councillors over bin taxes. But wasn’t it John F. Kennedy that said, “ask not what your council can do for you, but what you can do for your council”? You need to be there. We’re edging towards Yarra’s elections in October— Libra season, of course—and your community members will soon file onto either side of the rhetorical tug-of-war. As the insults get lower and the stakes grow higher, you’ll find purpose in keeping things civil. It’s hard to imagine Yarra residents storming the Capitol, but anything’s possible before they’ve had their first morning coffee.

Scorpio

October 23 to November 21

As Leos pose on Fitzroy Pool’s iconic steps, shark-like Scorpios (a water sign) are underwater and overtaking any underperforming but overconfident swimmers who have, infuriatingly, decided to grace the fast lane with their graceless presence. Sound familiar? Look, your determination and ruthlessness has you dominating at work, but that verb has relevance elsewhere. You’re feeling strained, and Scorpios are known to favour a certain kind of release, so next time you stop by Swimwear Galore to buy bathers (just off Alexandra Parade), consider another kind of latex—or at least some fluffy handcuffs. Across the road is a shop named Lucrezia and De Sade. Thank me later. (Under-eighteens, disregard this advice.)

Sagittarius

November 22 to December 21

Your zest for life has taken on a bitterness recently—call it a bad lemon tart. Sagittariuses love nothing more than satisfying their innate curiosity, so head up to Brunswick Street.

Peruse the vintage book selection at Through the Looking Glass or the mysterious Library Portal, down Westgarth Street. While you’re in the area, peek into Babka post owner changeover. The ‘Babka Girl’ was always the inner-north’s Bond Girl—and their lemon tart is consistently excellent. Afterwards, enter the dilapidated building on Argyle Street and climb the creaky steps to the The Red Triangle. Bobbing like an old wooden table in a sea of gentrification, this darkly charismatic pool room is a Twilight Zone filled with interesting characters. You’ll leave with a lot of funny new friends.

Capricorn

December 22 to January 19

You’re struggling with work-life balance. Capricorns’ social lives suffer at the hands of their career ambitions: just ask Joan of Arc. Her work consumed her, then flames did. You’re the friend who makes plans, so take inspiration from your fellow Cap and lead your own expedition: not a war for French liberation but a local pub crawl (more burnt steak than burnt-at-the-stake). Start at the Peacock Inn in Northcote, hit your stride at The Pinnacle then stumble out of the newly-renovated North Fitzroy Arms. Doubtless, you’ll bring your laptop to fire away some memos while you sink some pints: I hpoe t his emailll finds u well…Your buddies, at first, may be unimpressed at your quest for work martyrdom. But once you’ve ended up at Fitzroy’s appropriately named Labour in Vain, they’ll emotionally toast you for making the time.

Aquarius

January 20 to February 18

Your rebellious nature has you feeling stuck. Take an afternoon off to visit the Melbourne General Cemetery, next to Princes Park. We share this neighbourhood with ghosts: when empty trams pass flashing equally empty apologies—sorry, not taking passengers—it’s because they’re filled up with spirits in commute. Did you know there are five Prime Ministers interred in that cemetery, including a gravestone—but no actual grave—for Harold Holt? (He was a Leo. Not a water sign.) Aquarius, meanwhile, is an air sign, but its symbol is the lifegiving water-bearer, so time spent amongst the long-ago departed will prove profound: remember to make each day count. Your humanitarian streak will be further satisfied by visiting the Abbotsford Convent, once the biggest charitable institution in the southern hemisphere. After wandering through its cloisters, enjoy a wine or lemonade at Cam’s Kiosk. Relax.

Pisces

February 19 to March 20

Nearby the Edinburgh Gardens basketball court is a silvery-white gum tree bending at an almost impossible angle. Within the Rotunda is a dark, dirty locked-off room that never gets used. On Alexandra Parade, there is a traffic light that ticks with an irregular beat. Floating around us, just out of arm’s reach, are signs. You notice things others don’t and people haven’t been listening to you recently. Sometimes they won’t. But don’t neglect your Piscean intuition: jump on the 96 tram and just dissolve. As the Zodiac’s final sign, you can become each one: the Gemini gossiping loudly on the phone, the Scorpio making eyes, the Aquarius helping a mother lift her pram aboard and the Virgo asking to check your myki. Notice everything. Feel anything. Pour it all into the ocean of secret knowledge inside your heart and ride that wave of empathy all the way to St Kilda. Stroll along the promenade and settle your gaze on the ocean outside your heart: the one we all can see, glinting with tiny shards of white light, spilling out kindly into a vast foreverness, just like stars.